When I was a child, let's say when 13 I thought growing older, becoming adult is amazing. You have your own money, your own bank account, explore all things that you can't do when below 17 in a positive way lol. But now I already turning 17 and almost gonna turn 18 this year I feel fear somewhat. In this 3 recent years, I'm trying and experimenting myself not accepting money from mom for ONLY what I need in school and struggling with my prize money. It's hard somehow to manage your own money even just for school needs.

A lil bit flashback, I have my first 1 million on a junior high school from competition's prizes and then following on my senior high school with 250k (Jember) + 250k (Machung) + 500k(Unmer) + 400k (UMM). At very first I want to buy art supplies then when I accomplished my goal to buy that stuff I want to buy a violin, but now I have only 600k left, lol. Arghh hehe. Now I want to buy that left money for books. (I hope I consistent with my word) Here it is my journey with KTI.

In first it's easy to manage to buy things from canteen because my mom brings me lunchbox (since elementary school), there's one thing that surprises me, maybe it's just me haha. So one day on Saturday I didn't bring a lunchbox and suddenly there's class dance practice so I need to eat heavy food, I have 10k rupiahs in my hand, I thought that's very sufficient for buying things from 'only' school canteen. I decided to buy fried rice and fried chicken, while my friend bought regular white rice and fried chicken that cost 5k, I think my bill range about 7k, since the difference is just the rice. Silly me, I was very surprised my bill is 9k.  I'm trying to calm my self by trying to find positive things from that food. Oh good the food is very upsetting to me, especially the fried rice, there's no egg even onion there, I just can taste plain rice with a different color. The fried chicken was also tasteless. Since that day I decided to ask first the price and not just guessing based on another shop.

Still on the food topic, about days ago I met my friends at Su*** Tei, Japan restaurant. At first, I doubt about the prices that my friends tell about, I was searching the prices, it was up to 30k while the special menu for Ramadhan that cost only 35k with their promising ad. Yep, my doubt was true, the food is very sour and disappointing. Well, actually this is not what I will talk about haha. So my friend just ate a bit of spoon and she said that she just full! I'm disappointing inside of myself to her because she wasted that food, it's okay if she won't eat because the bad quality, but full while only eat some spoon? God. You are not grateful. Chill guys, I'm so irritated because I just realized that money isn't things that easy come to you, so you should use it wisely, duh.

Jump to supplies school topic, for the rest of my life in school my supplies always go nowhere. One time, because I'm too lazy to bring things because my things will go disappear, you know, so I borrow my friend's ruler and realizes that it has exactly the same symbol with my lost ruler, and then I ask for her if it's hers or not and yes, she found it somewhere haha. Sometimes I suspect my friends. Back in time, I like to buy something like you can say you buy expensive one thing and live with them long life~ and then I just realize that's impossible. So now I'm starting to tag all of my things, yea I can feel that my things less to lose also my worries.

On this 3 years, I felt that somehow my money just flew out nowhere, I usually spend the most of the money to buy food. At first, I had 100k and then sok bought expensive food and things. It's more dangerous when you have money shards than big money value, when it comes to money shards it feels like Ah this the last time I use this 'little' money and the next day you will say the same thing, lol. It's not me about I'm stingy, it's about the simulation game survival of life being an adult. So I conclude that being an adult is not about the freedom but it's about surviving the game.