These 3 weeks actually were fine, but after hearing some bad news, it drains me a lot. It messed up my brain. It makes me think I've messed up everything, but I mean when I thought over it, it's not like everything is doomed. It's actually fine, it's just I don't know what to expect tomorrow for the new stage of "my life". The "clueless" is what got me so freaked out at this 10 pm. Now I acknowledged my anxiety so I hope I can get some good rest today.

I mean one doomed event doesn't mean everything is doomed, right, you just gotta think about what's next. The problem is I think too scared about adult life which is just too messed up and dramatic. You just can stand on your own feet, right? I'll just write down my fear like how fake people can be ( they just smiled and say it's okay!) but it gets worst when they start rumour something (not my case but now I think It can also happen to me).

I think I'm just too tired and getting exhausted because of socializing (I'm introverted lmao). That might be the case, and get me overthinking what I just want to say... I'm not ready to be a "real" adult (yet). Life can get scary but so what, after all, we'll be dead. Now got me thinking, but I'll just write it out because I need to sleep cause I have to wake up early in the morning tomorrow. 

Life is not sweet as what we expected, like how pepatah Indonesia might be also my teacher said " Kalau sudah jadi bubur, tinggal kasih suwiran ayam kacang, jadilah bubur ayam". That's just my messed up brain. Now I'm relieved and ready go to bed :) P.S: I think, huh